Change places
by clared
Summary: Meet Tobias Prior and Beatrice Eaton. Before their respective choosing ceremonies they knew each other in Abnegation. What will become of their futures? Does Beatrice find the courage to leave her abusive father, and Tobias his loving parents and brother? OOC due to role reversal, Fourtris.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

It was an uncharacteristically warm day for the fall, as if the sun was trying to cheer up the otherwise sombre day. The Prior's had gone to pay their respects to Evelyn Eaton at a morning service. Tobias hadn't really known Evelyn Eaton, but his father, Andrew, worked with Evelyn's husband, Marcus, on the council, and it would have been selfish not to go. But Tobias would be lying if he didn't say he was glad when it was over and he could leave, his tummy was growling, he barely knew this woman and it was lunch time. Tobias' world seemed to revolve around food at the moment, he was always hungry, but his mother, Natalie, said that it was normal and he was probably just going through a growth spurt.

Natalie fixed her sons some chicken and peas for lunch, a very plain Abnegation meal. Tobias ate around the table with his parents and younger brother, Caleb in near silence, for it would be selfish to talk about yourself. There was no school today and Tobias found himself growing restless in the house, especially when the weather was so nice outside. It would be a shame to not make the most of it before winter.

"Mum, can I please be excused to go on a walk, I would like to clear my head," Tobias asks.

He noticed Caleb frown at him before schooling his features. His request wasn't very selfless but in Tobias' opinion, anything could be construed as selfish. Caleb was much better poster boy for Abnegation values than Tobias was.

"If it is okay with your father," Natalie replies.

Tobias looks to where his father is sitting and reading the newspaper. Andrew lifts his head enough to nod and returns to whatever article he is reading.

"Thanks Mum, Dad," Tobias says.

Natalie smiles at him, "just don't be too long and don't go too far."

Tobias leaves the house and walks in any direction, not really with any destination in mind. He really did just want to get out of the house for a little bit. Maybe his parents agreed because they thought he needed time to process the funeral? Or perhaps they thought the same thing about making the most of the nice day before winter hit. Either way, Tobias was grateful.

He finds himself in a park area near the border of Abnegation. Natalie used to take him here when he was younger to run off extra steam. But Tobias was 10 now, he was expected to know how to behave himself now and the excursions here had stopped a few years ago once Caleb seemed old enough too. Caleb was two years younger than he was.

The park was at the end of all the houses, and you could see the train line from here. Tobias had always liked the trains, the speed, the noise, seeing the Dauntless jump on and off. There was a standalone oak tree and a bench, over a decently sized grassed area. It hardly seemed to count as a park but it was better than nothing and it is what Tobias grew up with.

He was thinking of circling back and returning home when he heard what sounded like a sniffling nose. It would have been easy to miss but Tobias was always very perceptive about his surroundings. He gazed the vicinity and saw no one. Slowly he walked towards to oak tree, fairly certain that it had come from that direction. As he drew nearer he could see that there was a girl sitting behind the tree, her back propped up to the trunk. She was so slight in figure that the tree hid her body perfectly. He wondered for a moment if he should turn around and pretend he never saw the girl but in that second of hesitation she looked up and saw him standing a few meters off. They remained frozen staring at each other for a few heart beats before Tobias came to his senses.

"Hello, I'm Tobias," he said. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something, I heard a noise and went to see what it was."

"And what was it?" she replied.

"You," he said.

"Oh."

She looked down at the ground and an awkward tension started to grow between them. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" Tobias asks, a move that was very bold for him. The only girls he had talked to before was his mother and teachers, but he felt like talking to this girl was the right thing to do.

She nods her head once and he takes the invite, sprawling out on the shaded grass. "What's your name?"

"Beatrice," she replies curtly.

"Beatrice… As in Beatrice Eaton, Marcus' daughter?" Tobias asks. He knew the name but he had never met the girl. He knew she was in Caleb's year, so that explains why they didn't see each other at school. In fact, Tobias doesn't even recall seeing her at the funeral earlier. At the… oh, "I'm sorry".

He sees now that her eyes are red like she's been crying, but there was no other sign that she has been upset really. If he had to describe it in one word, he'd say she looked empty.

"It's okay," Beatrice says, "she's in a better place now."

Tobias decided to change the topic, "do you come here often?"

"Sometimes," she says. "I'm not really allowed to but if I can get away without Dad noticing I like to sit here. I like waiting and watching the trains go by."

They stay in mostly silence after that, Tobias not wanting to pry too far- her mother did just die after all and he wasn't sure how many questions would be tolerated and he certainly wasn't ready to see her cry.

After that afternoon, Tobias regularly found excuses to go to the park, usually coming up with some "charitable" sounding activity. One time he said he was going to cut Mrs. Wellington's lawn, an elderly woman who lived on the other side of Abnegation- he ended up almost missing his venture to the park trying to get the lawn mower to operate. Sometimes Beatrice was there, sometimes she wasn't, there was no pattern to her coming and goings. Tobias didn't dare ever go to the Eaton's house to see her, he was too nervous about what each of their parents would say. The pair grew close over the next few years, they definitely didn't know every little detail about each other but they came to appreciate each other and had an unspoken policy of letting the other talk about something only when they were ready to. It was about five months after Evelyn's funeral that Beatrice ever spoke about her. And Tobias shared his own stories as they arose, such as when this Erudite kid called Eric was annoying him in class.

Tobias was 15 now, for five years he'd been going to see, or not see, Beatrice. He was much taller and starting to fill out, although Natalie still called him a bean pole. It was the day before the annual choosing ceremony, a day that Tobias could always guarantee to see Tris, as he had come to affectionately call her. Marcus was always very busy preparing for the ceremony so Tris always managed to sneak out this day and this day was no disappointment. She still chose to sneak out, Tobias didn't understand why she just didn't ask or make excuses like he did with his parents, but he never questioned her, he knew that if she wanted to she would say when she was ready, because that's how they've always operated, they didn't owe explanations to each other. He knew she didn't like to talk about her father, he wondered if that was because it reminded her too much of her deceased mother.

"Hey Toby," she says when she sees him, a nickname that only she was allowed to call him.

"Hey Tris, this time of year again hey?" he replies.

"Mmm," she lies back and closes her eyes, "it will be your turn next year."

"It will."

"Will you stay?"

Tobias turns his head to look at her, still lying with her eyes closed. He really looks at her. She may still only be 13 but he has seen how beautiful she has become, still a shadow of her adult self. He would happily claim that she is his best friend if he was allowed, but since neither of them are supposed to be here in the first place no one knows. Since she joined upper levels this year he has done his best to keep his eye on her between classes and at lunch at a safe distance. He enjoys the secret smiles they exchange from across the cafeteria and hallways. Beatrice isn't always the happiest girl, sometimes she is miserable when he sees her here, but at school she always seems to shine.

"Tobias?"

He snaps out of it, releasing he has been staring too long. "Sorry. Um, I don't know. I don't think I am selfless enough to stay here."

"Where would you go then?"

"I haven't thought of it. Not Amity, they are way too happy, and not Candor, I like my secrets. I really like my secrets," he grins.

She looks at him for a moment puzzled before realization kicks in, "Oh," she blushes. "I like our secrets too".

He can't believe he was so bold but he thinks he just admitted his crush on her for the first time. He had realised he liked Tris more than just a simple friend two years ago but never said anything. He takes her shared confession as a signal and rolls over and gives her a quick peck on the lips. He's never kissed a girl before and isn't sure what to do. He pulls back and just waits her reaction, a blush colouring his cheeks.

She looks a bit startled before grinning, "I like you too." He kisses her again, a bit longer this time, until they both end up giggling. The sound of Tris giggling makes him so happy, she doesn't laugh enough.

They lie there for a while, Tobias holding her hand in the grass, happy. Eventually she sits up though, leaving his hand empty. "Do you think there is any chance you could be divergent?," she says.

Tobias frowns, "I won't know until I do my aptitude test, but maybe," he admits. "I hope not just to simplify things." Just before they were born there was a large war between the factions over divergence. A woman called Jeanine Matthews tried to capture and kill many due to her fear of their potential risk, which almost broke up the factions. Divergent was now no longer a feared word but it was still something people were advised to keep to themselves. Because of their aptitude to more than one faction, those that are known to be divergent and work in high positions of power have to regularly submit themselves to security clearances under truth serum to prove they aren't a terrorist threat. Tobias and Beatrice had both learnt a lot about it in faction history at school. Jeanine Matthews was sentenced to death once apprehended and a great understanding of divergence was uncovered but it is still a sensitive topic. Beatrice wasn't sure if truth serum's was the best way to handle things but it seemed to work for now, no trouble had broken out since the war.

"Do you think you'll leave when it's finally your choosing?" Tobias asks.

"I don't know," Beatrice responds just as Tobias had. "I'm not sure where I would fit. I don't think I'm that selfless, but I don't think I'm that brave, or kind, or smart or honest either. Definitely not Candor though, I don't like the idea of telling everyone my secrets either."

Tobias sits up to meet her, "Tris, you are the most selfless, brave, kind, smart and honest person I know."

Tris turns away, "I'm not."

Tobias wants to argue but he knows it would be no use. Instead he stays quiet and lets each of their minds think about what transpired.

After that afternoon Tobias never sees Beatrice again. She never returns to the park and at school she keeps her head down. It grows on agony, torn between wanting to know if she was upset that he said he may leave her and Abnegation, or if her feelings for him changed. Maybe he shouldn't have kissed her.

He was hopeful the day before his choosing ceremony that he'd see her, if nothing else but to say goodbye, but she never shows. He waits for hours as his parents wanted him to have the room to think about his decision but when night falls he gives up and returns home. He misses his Tris but she is gone.

In the morning he gets on the bus with Natalie, Andrew and Caleb and they go to the hub for the choosing ceremony. Marcus is officiating so he holds onto one last hope of seeing Beatrice before he chooses but he doesn't see her anywhere.

His name is called and he places his bloody hand over the bowl. He watches his blood drip onto the hot coals and thinks, " _Goodbye Tris_ ".


	2. Chapter 2

**TOBIAS POV**

I really wish I could have gone to this year's choosing ceremony, my brother Caleb would be choosing. While I think he would stay in Abnegation with our parents, I am still not one hundred percent certain. I haven't seen him in two years, two years can really change a person, take myself as example.

I glance at my watch; the initiates should be here any minute. I wait by the net with Lauren and various other dauntless that came to watch. I doubt I will see Caleb falling through the roof, but my mind lingers to Tris, she would be choosing today as well. I start to think of my quiet friend in Abnegation and immediately will myself to stop. She was too kind and gentle for this place anyway.

A few of my friends in Dauntless have siblings choosing today as well, and are eagerly waiting by the net to see if they stayed. Zeke and Shauna aren't nervous, they know their siblings are as Dauntless as it gets at their age.

"Ready Four?" Lauren says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I can make out Max's voice on the roof, they are almost here. "Bets that the first jumper is Dauntless-born?"

I smile, "I don't bet to lose." It's always a dauntless-born. I'd place bets on whether it was Uriah or Lynn first though.

Before I get to place such a bet there is already something falling down. At first I can't make out anything in the sun's glare but then I see the grey. No. What? An Abnegation the first jumper?

The person doesn't make a sound as they fall, but when they land they stuff laughing, a fully belly laugh I can tell the voice is female. Definitely not Caleb then. I walk up to the net and give my hand to the initiate to help them out. They grab it instantly and I pull. I finally see the face of the first jumper and I almost fall back on my ass. I school my features so I don't think anyone saw them but Tris. I couldn't be more shocked.

"Four?" Lauren prompts.

"Right," I mutter. "What's your name kid?" I ask out loud. She gives me a quizzical look. "You only get to pick once."

"Tris," she says.

I smile. Not Beatrice, Tris, my name for her.

"First jumper, Tris!" I announce.

I turn to yelling, our next jumper flailing through the air. I know it is Uriah straight away, pansycake.

Eventually they all jump and we have 19 initiates; 9 transfers and 10 dauntless-born. When the last jumper is off the net I turn my attention to where the imitates have huddled. I spy Tris up the back talking quietly to a Candor girl.

"Alright quiet," I yell over the dull roar of the cabin. Most of the Dauntless start to file out so Lauren and I are left to the initiates. "Welcome to, or welcome back, to Dauntless. Welcome to your new family, your new life. We are your instructors during your initiation. My name is Four and this is Lauren."

I see a hand shoot up into the air, Tris' new friend. "Yes?"

"Four? Like the number?" she says.

"Yes," I say.

"How is that a name?"

"How is it that you Candor cannot keep your mouths closed?" I retort.

She looks like she's about to speak again but thinks better of it. I can't tell if Tris thinks what I said was funny or downright rude. I continue. "As I was saying, we are your instructors for the next several weeks. Initiation is gruelling and Dauntless may not be for some of you, you will learn to control your physical, mental and emotional strength over three stages of training. Normally we train you separately, I would take the transfers and Lauren the Dauntless-born, but this year it was decided between myself and our other four leaders that you will be trained together for the most part. Transfers, this may seem unfair but in the real world you may come up against an opponent who is indeed more qualified."

I see the girl lift her hand again, I nod and hope it is not another stupid question.

"You said yourself and our other four leaders. Are you a leader?" She asks.

"Yes," I say. "You've already met Max on the roof and I'm sure you will come across the other three soon."

"Aren't you a bit young to be a leader?" An Erudite boy pikes up.

"Age doesn't matter here. Once you make it through initiation your skill is what counts," Lauren answers for me. "That is enough questions for now, we need to move on. As the Dauntless-born will know, we used to only take on 10 initiates, the others would become factionless. There are some that do not agree with this and by slow progress now the top 12 will make it. You will be ranked at the end of each round of training, it stage weighted more than the last. Your rankings will also help decide what jobs you are allocated."

"Here we will split up as I'm sure you Dauntless-born don't need a tour. Lauren will show you to the dorms. Transfers, with me. Dinner is at 1900hrs and the evening is yours. Be at the training room 8am sharp tomorrow morning for stage 1," I say.

I start walking off towards to direction of the pit and assume the transfers are following as I start pointing out this and that. I finish with the chasm before leading them to the dorms.

"I leave you here initiates, unpack your things, get changed out of your old faction clothes and I'll see you all in the morning. Do not be late."

I stride off to where I know I will find Zeke, Shauna and Lauren. I want nothing more to look back and see Tris but for sake of professionality I don't. I find my friends near the chasm, Zeke already halfway through a beer and handing me one.

"So, what are the transfers like this year," Zeke asks.

"The Candor's are loud, the Erudite's arrogant and I'm not sure what to make of the Abnegation girl," I say honestly.

"They seem like an okay bunch," Lauren says, "we will find out more tomorrow."

"Hey Zeke," I say. "So your little brother got out-jumped by two girls."

"What?" he says. "He did not! Last time I checked it was one Abnegation girl, not two."

Shauna's laughing at this point, understanding where I am heading with this, "Yeah but firstly, a stiff never jumps first and secondly, Lynn might have jumped third but she didn't wail and flail about like a pansycake."

We are all laughing and I allow myself to forget about Tris while we finish our drinks.


	3. Chapter 3

TRIS POV

I can't believe it, it's him. I knew he was going to transfer, he told me three years ago, but I hadn't seen him since and I never found out where he ended up. But he is here.

I saw his face when he pulled me out of the net and how quick he recovered and pretended as if he didn't know me. I won't lie and say I wasn't a bit upset, but I can understand, he has set up a life for himself here as this "Four" guy and has to play the part. So I decided I can wait a bit longer.

I met a girl from Candor on the train, Christina, and she seems nice enough. She's very talkative and to see "Four" put her in her place was amusing but at the same time I never imagined Toby talking to anyone like that. But we are Dauntless now, things change.

It's easy to keep my thoughts busy, trying to memorise where everything is in the compound and this overload of new information. I don't like how all 19 of us transfers are made to live together, at least the bathroom is somewhat private. The Dauntless-born have already settled in by the time we arrive but there is a bunk in the back corner still available and I head straight to it, Christina hot on my heels. I take the bottom as I don't want to risk my shirt riding up at any point trying to climb up into bed each night.

We have an hour before dinner so I sit and chat to Christina, and two initiates called Will and Al, as well as three transfers called Uriah, Marlene and Lynn introduce themselves. I notice other little groups have formed throughout the room. I see Peter with two other transfers I haven't met yet and can't help note that they don't look very nice. I think I remember seeing the girl around upper levels before and she seemed like a bit of a brute.

Uriah, Marlene and Lynn seem lovely. It's obvious that they joined our circle because they wanted to meet the first jumper, apparently that is a big deal around here, but they had like this almost comic routine worked out between the three of them that kept us entertained.

Dinner rolled around and we walked down to the cafeteria with them. We had been given the tour but I was glad as there was no chance of getting lost now. We walk through the doors and I'm am confronted by all these foreign smells, but good smells. Uriah takes the lead to a table and we all follow. I sit down next to Christina and look to see who we have joined.

"Guys, meet the transfers, Tris, Christina, Al and Will. Transfers, this is my big brother Zeke and Lynn's sister Shauna," Uriah says.

We exchange pleasantries and Zeke cracks a joke about me being the first jumper. News travels fast. There is a smorgasbord of food in front of us, I stare at it unsure of where to start.

"Dig in," Christina says with her mouth half full, "at the rate Uriah's eating if you don't hurry up there will be none left!"

Zeke gets a good laugh at out this and Uriah just looks proud.

"Stiff's are used to plain food," a voice says behind me. "Here, it's a hamburger, but the red sauce on it."

Tobias sits in the vacant spot to my left and I smile gratefully at him. I look at this hamburger in front of me and do as he says.

"Wait," Christina says, "You've never had a hamburger? No wonder you left Abnegation."

"Yeah," I huff, "It was because of the food."

Tobias snorts next to me while Zeke and Uriah burst out loud. I smile, this is what fitting in must feel like.

Dinner is a nice affair, getting to know everyone and discovering the relations. Zeke is Four's best friend, that's why Four sat with us, not because of me. I discover this amazing thing called Dauntless cake and realise Christina's comment about Uriah's eating rate to be very accurate. If he ate normal food fast, he ate cake at light speed.

Even though it's not late, after the events of the day and training early tomorrow I find myself growing tired. As I start to excuse myself I feel Tobias' hand brush my leg and put something on my lap. I feel a small piece of paper there and subtly put in in my pocket.

"I'm exhausted guys, thank you for tonight," I say to my new friends. Christina gets up with me and we make our way back to the dorms together without getting lost.

I head to the bathroom and lock myself in a toilet cubicle to get change. I pull the note out of my pocket and read:

 _Tris,_

 _I promise to talk to you soon, but for now I can't risk people knowing that we know each other. I meant it when I said initiation is gruelling and I don't want people to think I am favouring you._

 _I will get in contact with you when I can, please be careful._

 _I missed you._

 _Toby_

 _P.S. I like your new name._

 _P.P.S. For your safety please dispose of this letter properly._

I read it a few more times and smile. I get dressed quickly and flush the letter down the toilet. I still have my friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**TOBIAS POV**

The alarm blasts way too early for my liking, but I signed up to train initiates so I only have myself to blame. I roll out of bed and put on some shorts and a tank top for my run. Training the initiates all day means I don't get to stick to my regular work out schedule so morning runs it is.

I wrote a letter for Tris but I didn't imagine I would be able to give it to her so easily. I was half expecting to have to sneak it into her belongings in the dorms but when I got to dinner she was sitting at my table. It felt as though there was an energy current running between the entire time but I managed to keep it together.

When I suggested training all the initiates together it seemed like a smart idea but now I know Tris is an initiate I really wish I could take it back. The Dauntless-born aren't trained up yet but I still know Lynn can pack a decent punch, with technique refinement I really am not looking forward to the fights.

I get back to my apartment without running into anyone. I shower and get changed and meet Lauren in the training room to set up, grabbing a muffin on the way.

Slowly the initiates arrive. I'm glad to see Tris arrive ten minutes early with her new friends. I'm glad she's making friends here, she was always so alone in Abnegation, although the way Christina and Uriah are constantly talking her ear off I don't think she could avoid them if she tried. I look at her properly since she arrived yesterday, she's taller and filled out a bit more, although she is still very petite. I think back to when I thought she was beautiful at 13 and it pales in comparison. She's gorgeous.

Peter, Drew and Molly are the last to arrive. I clear my throat as I see them enter. "Training is at 8AM, not 8.15, not 8.02, 8AM! May this serve as a warning for everyone, late again and there will be severe punishments."

"We told you yesterday that most of the training will occur together. For today though we will split up just so that the transfers can learn some moves before the dauntless-born kick there asses," Lauren says. "Dauntless-born, you will start your morning with me refining the techniques you learn beating on your siblings, Transfers, you are with Four with weapon training. We will break for lunch at 12 for an hour, and then we will swap stations. Tomorrow you will be using your skills you learnt today to fight so pay attention. You will each verse five opponents over the next two weeks and you could be paired with anyone."

We have just under four hours so I decide to spend half the time on guns, the other half on knives. We start on guns and after showing them the correct stance I let them just shoot away at the target. I notice Myra and Tris are the weakest. The recoil almost knocked them to their feet. Myra's stance is spot on though, she just needs to build more muscle. Tris on the other hand.

"Take your feet a bit wider and brace your core more," I say, placing my hand over her abdomen. I feel her muscles contract underneath my hand and I'm not sure it is because I told her to brace or because of the skin contact. She aims, fires, and hits the target. Barely, she skimmed the edge but it is a lot better. "You'll get it," I say, carrying my way along the line.

I get tired of the constant banging of the guns and decide it's finally time to switch to knives. All the initiates are at least hitting the target now, if not getting centre. I again show them how to throw and then let them at it, monitoring when they can and can't retrieve their knives. I don't want to deal with bloody initiates on day 1. Everyone has thrown their first three before Tris has even picked her knives up. While the others collect their knives off the floor or pull them out of the wall I watch her throw an imaginary knife. Once everyone is back behind the line and I give the all clear to throw again, she picks up her first knife and throws. It hits the target, stays in the board, inches off centre. I breathe a sigh of relief, glad she's doing well in one aspect of weapon training. By the end of the session she has hit bull several times.

At lunch I notice the transfers don't sit with the dauntless-born, this was part of the reason I wanted to see them train together. They get absorbed in their own activities and don't form those bonds and later fail in the teamwork exercises because they don't respect each other. I don't see Zeke or Shauna at lunch as they are running a different schedule during the day with work, so I sit with Lauren and we discuss how the initiates did.

Combat training went similar to gun training. Myra and Tris struggled due to their side. I told them both to use their elbows and knees more but there wasn't much I could do. A knot is starting to form in my stomach at the idea of fights tomorrow.

At dinner the table was the same as last night but Lauren and I decided to sit far from any initiates so we could start making matches for fights tomorrow so we could get to bed earlier. I spot Tris getting up to leave, she looks exhausted. I really want to talk to her but I know it I can't yet but soon I'll have to find a way

 **Hi guys, I know you have some of your favourite quotes and events from the Divergent book, which this follows a similar timeline of, but I won't be quoting things word for word, or including it all because if you want to read that, read Divergent again. Likewise, as you probably noticed I'm skimming through some of the training details. Please enjoy**


	5. Chapter 5

**TOBIAS POV**

The fights are as expected. For the first round of matches we tried to pair everyone rather evenly based on what we saw yesterday but I know that we need to start mixing it up soon because you have to have hard opponents as well to truly test your ability.

Because of the odd amount of initiates, one got to miss out on the fights today, Tris. We matched the rest of the initiates by transfer or dauntless-born for today. Christina finished Myra so easily, I was not looking forward to seeing Tris in the ring.

We encouraged the transfers to watch each other fight but it also took most of the day, especially between infirmary visits, so as long as they stayed in the training room we didn't make it compulsory. Tris watched them all closely, as if making mental notes on each person's fighting technique. At least I hope that is what she was doing.

After the fights were over the initiates has the choice to work on combat or weapon training- we couldn't fit them all in both. Tris chose combat training, as did Edward, Peter and Uriah. Christina, Will, Al, Myra, Marlene and Lynn went to weapons. Lauren was overseeing weapon training while I watched combat.

They had been working on the bags for about half an hour when I saw Uriah stop and see Tris. "Hey Stiff," he called. "Up for a challenge?"

She stopped hitting the bag, a thin layer of sweat coating her forehead, "What kind of challenge?"

"Jump on the mat," he says.

She does what he says without question, I want to intervene and tell him to get back to the bag but my curiosity gets the better of me.

"Now put your arms up like you are about to fight me," he says.

They look at each other across the mat both with their guard up. "Now I'm going to go slow, I want you to block each of my assaults and try to make a few of your own when you can."

He make right upper cut towards her rib cage in about a quarter of the speed it should take and left arm comes down to block it, as she goes to block that one he comes across and left jabs, which she blocks again. They carry on slowly like this, using legs and arms but she makes no move to attack. I notice they are steadily speeding up but still not too fast, Uriah could easily pin her. They aren't going full speed but I can see he is using more strength and she is having to use more to appropriately defend herself. She never makes a sound as flesh slaps flesh, and circle each other while. After about ten minutes Tris sees an opening and tries to give him a right hook but he blocks it, grabs her arms and twists it behind her within a blink of an eye. She gasps and I see tears in her eyes. Is she hurt?

"Please stop," I hear her say quietly. Uriah instantly lets go of her arm with a large smile plastered to his face. He hasn't seen the tears forming as he is behind her. He lets go of her arm instantly at her request. "Good job, Sti…" he starts. He's spinning her around to face her and she flinches. "Tris? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

She shakes her head but I am already by their side.

"Okay guys, that was a really good display but I think that's enough for now. Uriah, back to the bag, Tris, with me," I say.

Uriah doesn't argue and looks apologetic. I try to smile at him to show him that he's not in trouble and steer Tris around the corner away from everyone.

I get her a cup of water from the water dispenser as she slides down the wall and huddles into herself.

"Tris," I say softly. "Tris, drink this." She takes the water from me and puts it to her lips briefly, barely drinking any. "Tris, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry," is all she whispers.

"Sorry?"

"I can't do this," she says.

"Do what?" I say, worried she means Dauntless.

"Be strong, be brave, it's not me."

I know Tris enough that another initiate I would tell them to harden up or be factionless, but Tris I just know I can't like that, not even if it was just for appearances. But I can't let the other initiates think I am soft.

"Tris listen to me," I say crouched in front of her. I want to touch her but watching her flinch away from Uriah I am hesitant. "You were doing really well against Uriah then, and you are one of the better knife throwers out of the transfers. You certainly have your weaknesses but you also have your strengths. As for your weaknesses, its day 2, you have plenty of time to practise and improve."

I say the words and while I mean it, I sense something greater is up here. But just like I did all those years ago, I won't pry it out of her, she will come to me if she wants to tell me something.

"Be brave, Tris," I say.

She looks up at me, "Can I please be excused from the rest of training?"

"Of course. You will still have to fight for real tomorrow though"

I get up and walk her out of the training room, careful to not make any contact that seems friendlier than a instructor-initiate relationship. I turn around and see Peter and Molly have stopped hitting the bags and are talking together. "Peter, Molly, fifty push ups now, on your toes."

I see Uriah is still working the bag but its half-hearted, glancing over at me. I come up right behind him so no one else can hear me when I say, "she's physically okay, I think something has just spooked her. There is only an hour left so I've said she can leave early to compose herself before dinner. I don't know what happened but all you can do is just be a friend to her, don't push her on the matter. Don't blame yourself buddy. That was really good what you did with her back there."

I move on and spot Peter and Molly on the ground still, "Peter, if you don't hurry up I'll put a weight on your back as well."

I can't wait for this week to be over with.


	6. Chapter 6

**TRIS POV**

After my little meltdown in the training room I went back to the dorms and had a long shower. The warm water no longer stung my back, the wounds from the night before the choosing ceremony must be finally starting to heal.

While I am embarrassed I froze up in the training room in front of everyone like that, I tell myself that at least it was while practising with Uriah and not in a marked fight. Watching the fighting is one thing, partaking is completely different. Being able to defend myself was invigorating, even if we weren't going that fast, I could never do that with Marcus, but when I did try to hit back and Uriah had me blocked and pinned I flashed back to being helpless and out of control and I froze. I don't know how I can apologise to Uriah, it wasn't his fault, he was trying to help.

I realise I really don't want to be in the dorms when everyone else comes back so I decide to go for a walk. I decide to go a way I've never been before, to explore a new aspect of the compound. I figure if I get lost I'll run into someone eventually who can point me back to the dining hall.

I walk past some small shops and common areas and along a hall way which I realise must be where some of the apartments are as there are just lines of doors with numbers on them. I keep walking to see where it eventually leads, watching my feet until I walk straight into someone

"Oops, I'm sorry," I say quickly. I look up, "Toby? What are you doing here?"

"Shhh, not so loud," he says. "I should ask what are doing here, I was on my way to my room." He points to a door three behind me.

"Oh, um," I say, flustered now. "I didn't want to be in the dorm when everyone else came back so I just thought I'd explore the compound and see where I ended up."

He nods, "come on, whilst you're here, let's go to my place before anyone sees an initiate having private time with their instructor and assumes the worst."

I follow him to his room and wait for him to unlock it before I enter. The room is larger than I expected, a kitchenette to the left, two doors ahead I assume lead to a bedroom and bathroom, and a living area with a couch and desk. "Make yourself at home, I'm just going to change shirts."

I sit on the couch, admiring a quote painted on the wall, "fear god alone".

"Marlene was telling me that most apartments are just a studio room with a bed, bathroom and bar fridge," I say conversationally.

"She'd be correct," Tobias says coming out in a fresh black shirt. "I started with the same but got upgraded when I was promoted to leader. I could have had an even larger one but it seemed like a waste of space for just me, a bigger family could have it."

He sits on the couch next to me, one leg tugged under him, "how are you feeling now?"

"Better," I say. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"That's okay Tris, you don't have to explain anything to me."

"Toby?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Why do people call you Four around here?"

He grins, "Part of the initiation process involves overcoming your fears. I set a record with four, most people average ten to twelve, and people have been calling me it ever since."

I choose to ignore the part about overcoming your fears, I don't want to know yet, today was eventful enough. "Don't you like Tobias?"

"I do," he says. A few people here know my real name, Zeke, Shauna, Max, Hana, but most people just know me as the fearless Dauntless prodigy. The others rarely use it, unless it's something really serious or Ezekiel is being a prick."

"Ezekiel?" I splutter.

"Yup, he hates it, so save it for a special occasion."

We laugh over Zeke for a bit and then fall into silence. "Tris?"

"Mmm?"

"Where did you go? I thought I did something wrong that afternoon when I never saw you again. I thought I'd never see you again, never get to say goodbye."

I look down at my hands, uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to do that, Toby, I wish I could have but Dad came home early that day and I wasn't home and after that he kept a better watch," I tell a half truth. I didn't tell him that my back was reduced to tatters of skin and blood. He is not my dad, no, Marcus is nothing to me.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

He leans in but stops, I can see he is still hesitant to touch me from before. I shift myself so that I can hug him, pressing my face into his chest, breathing in Tobias, his scent just as I remembered it.

"Tris, I know this going to seem like poor timing, but what happened to my brother?"

I tilt my head up where he still holds me. "Caleb? I didn't see him much in the time you were gone but he chose Erudite and the choosing ceremony."

He laughs, "I thought he'd stay in Abnegation, but I'm happy. My parents would be happy too, they always wanted what is best for us. I miss them, Mum came on visiting day during my initiation but I haven't really seen them since. I've seen Dad in passing once or twice during leadership duties. It's funny, Mum told me she used to be Dauntless and Dad was Erudite, I guess we've returned to our roots."

I smile at the story, I've always liked hearing Tobias talk about his family, they are good people. I used to go home from the park and imagine a life with my mother alive still and a different father. I might have had siblings too.

"Tris, as much as I have enjoyed catching up with you, you should really head to dinner, and I need to meet Lauren to prepare for tomorrow."

I agree, once he mentioned dinner I realised I really was hungry. I get ready to exist first and he would follow a few minutes later. Just as I'm about to leave he calls "Oh and Tris,"

"Yeah?"

"Until initiation is over, please only call me Four in public, I don't want people clued into how close we are for your safety... And maybe never call me Toby in public, Zeke would never let it go."

I laugh and wink, "you got it, Toby."

I walk with a skip in my step down the apartment lined hall, no one seeing me leave Toby's apartment. As I get to the dining hall I see Uriah running over from the other direction.

"Tris!" he puffs, "I was looking for you. You weren't in the dorms and I was worried."

"Sorry Uriah, and I'm sorry about earlier too, I just freaked out at losing control so suddenly. I just went for a walk around to clear my head. I'm just glad that it didn't happen in a real fight."

We walk into the dining room and see our friends at our usual table, before we sit I stop Uriah as I have an idea.

"Uriah, I was wondering if you could do me a favour if it is not too much to ask?"

"Shoot."

"Do you think you could help me fight? I learnt a lot from today and I can't ask Lauren or Four pointers and one-on-ones like that obviously."

He doesn't even pause to think about it, "of course! We could all do with extra training time. We can start tomorrow, perhaps in the morning before training starts properly, get warmed up for the fights."

I hug him, which I don't think he was expecting but he returns it anyway.

I am no longer Beatrice Eaton. I am strong, I am brave, I am dauntless.


	7. Chapter 7

**TRIS POV**

Uriah and I were at the cafeteria for breakfast at doors open in the morning. I was going to have just a coffee and banana for breakfast so that I didn't have a full tummy for our pre-training training, but Uriah stacked a pile of fried eggs on my plate with the comment, "protein".

By the time we got to the training room we had forty-five minutes before the other initiates would be here. I thought we would go back to the slow hand-to-hand combat like we did yesterday but Uriah had another plan in mind.

"We can spar a bit later," Uriah said. "For the first half an hour I think we would both benefit from some weight training. Technique is important but a bit of power also helps and frankly, I'm not sure you have any muscle in that little frame of yours."

I play punch his arm but follow his direction. We start with push ups and continue in a circuit of sit ups, tricep dips, squats, lunges and pull ups. After half an hour there is a dull ache in my muscle, an almost jelly-like quality to my actions.

"Eventually once your body adjusts to lifting your own weight, you can add more to further build your strength," Uriah says. During most of the exercises we did he was holding various weighted objects to increase the resistance on his muscles. "Now, we have about ten minutes left before the others come, let's fight."

We start circling each other on the mat and I notice Lauren and Four walk in. "Tris," Uriah calls, "you are leaving your face unprotected, hands up." I refocus my attention to Uriah and we start our slow sparring game. He makes me defend his kicks and punches as well as shows me what openings to look for in my counter-attack. "See, by forcing me to put my hands up to protect my face the left side of my body is left mostly unprotected. I'd aim a right upper cut into the bottom of my rib cage. Rotate your hips with the throw to get your body behind it, don't rely on your shoulder and arm strength alone."

Ten minutes was up fast but we still had a whole morning of fights and then some time in the afternoon for more training with the rest of the initiates.

This morning I would be fighting, no more sit outs. Once all the initiates arrived Four revealed a board with today's pairings. _Mel vs. Tris_. Mel was one of the dauntless-born initiates. I watched her fight yesterday and she was good, but nowhere near as good as Marlene or Lynn. Our fight was scheduled fourth, so for the first fight I stood off to the side and stretched my muscles so I wouldn't be so sore tomorrow from this morning's strength work out and to keep the lactic acid moving.

The first fight was over within minutes, Edward flattening and dauntless-born girl. The next seemed relatively well matched between Molly and Lynn, but Lynn was faster and stronger and after several minutes of circling each other, Lynn suddenly had Molly flat on her back in a move that was almost too quick to see.

Eventually my turn was up, I could feel butterflies in my tummy. I step onto the mat and look over at Uriah who smiles and gives me thumbs up. I flick a glance at Toby and he does the smallest of nods.

"When you're ready, girls," Lauren says, signalling for us to start.

I barely circle two paces when she rushes me by lunging and aiming a jab at my nose. I bring both my arms up to guard my face but quickly realise in doing so I leave the rest of my body exposed. She aims a kick but I jump back just in time. I quickly see her fight tactic- play dirty to make up for the faults in her technique.

I manage to block most of her hits, although even mid-fight I can feel my forearms starting to throb from the constant connecting of flesh and bone. Uriah is right, a little bit of muscle may help in more ways than one. She also landed a kick to the side of my leg and it is starting to feel numb.

I can see Mel starting to tire from her relentless attack and I seize my opening, roundhouse kicking her in the stomach. She rears back, surprised, but stays on her feet. We begin to circle again, I can see her trying to recover from the kick while I try to think of the next best way to strike. Distantly I can hear people cheering on the sidelines having taken sides but I can't stop paying attention now. Suddenly she charges at me again and I put my guards up firm expecting a similar attack to the first. Instead, she pulls her arms wide apart at the last minute and with a hard kick off the ground pushes into me, tackling me to the ground and firmly pinning me to the ground.

"Mel wins," Four calls, with Lauren circling Mel's name on the board.

She clambers off me and I lie there dazed.I see a figure above me and realises it's my Toby, as he extends his hand and carefully pulls me off the ground.

I see his eyes rack my body before he says, "Christina, Uriah, take her to the infirmary to check for a concussion, she fell back rather hard."

Uriah and Christina loop an arm each through theirs to walk me to the infirmary. I want to push their arms away, I can walk myself god dammit, but I see Four give me his best instructor glare, a look that tells me not to fight it. Behind the Four eyes though I see what I have come to recognise as the kinder Tobias eyes, that show his genuine concern for my wellbeing. I sigh and let Christina and Uriah walk me away.

We leave the training room and manage to walk halfway along the pit when Uriah bursts out laughing. "That was the funniest fight I have ever witnessed," he chokes out.

Now I actually unloop my arm from his and elbow him sharp in the side. "Ow, stiff, I didn't mean it like that."

"Go on?" I say.

"Mel, she was an absolute brute, hardly any methodology and relying on the element of surprise and merciless attacks to meet her goal. And it worked in the end, but oh my god that tackle, she came at you like an angry bear, she warrior roared and everything!" By the end of it Uriah is laughing again. "I wish I could replay that."

"You fought really well Tris, no one expect the Stiff to last long but you held her off for a while. To be honest most people were expecting a Myra-esque performance from you today but you stood your ground well," Christina says as I am still glaring at Uriah

I grunt but I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face. I might not have won outright but I've also shown that I do have potential. I'd have to thank Uriah when he's finished carrying on because without him I probably would have been out after the first punch but I held out. I won't give him the satisfaction just yet though, not until I have something I can tease him back with.


	8. Chapter 8

**TRIS POV**

The doctor clears me from concussion but gets me to stay until lunch and drinks lots of water, which only ends up being half an hour anyway. I'm the first to the cafeteria and pile up on chicken and leafy greens for lunch with a tall glass of orange juice. By the time I am seated at the table with my food my friends arrive and we lunch per normal. Tobias briefly stops by our table to make sure I am okay and I assure him my head is perfectly fine.

In the afternoon I decide to do some gun and knife training as I did combat this morning and yesterday. For the rest of the week I mix it up, always working out with Uriah either before or after training, and making sure to fit in some aim practise. My knife throwing skills are getting really good, and my gun shooting is improving.

The next day I fight Myra and win, although she is so bad at the fighting that it doesn't really feel victorious. On the Friday I have to fight a Dauntless-born called Xavier and I land a few blows before he sweeps his foot underneath my legs and has me pinned.

Weekend rolls around and we get two days off. Uriah and I decided to also take a break as he said our muscles need some time to rest and heal from all the strenuous activity. I decide to go for a run in the morning so that I'm still doing something. When I shower afterwards I notice that my frame has become more muscular just after a week and I have to smile.

After lunch Christina drags me to the shops. I don't particularly like shopping but I oblige, I actually do need more clothes to wear. There is a party tonight at Zeke's apartment and unless I want to go in sports wear I need something else. Al wanted to get tattoo's this afternoon but Christina said to wait until tomorrow and it will take us time to get ready. I'm not sure what she means by that, I can get ready within twenty minutes.

After walking around the shops I buy some nice black jeans and a black top for tonight. The top has a bit of sparkle to it when it catches the light and has a simple, not too low scoop neck and capped sleeves. Christina tried to get me to wear a dress but I refused. I ended up with it in my shopping bags but I will save it for another dressier occasion. She let me get away with it provided I bought some black heels, they are a simple pump and I am going to break my neck in them.

I quickly learn what Christina means by taking time to get ready. The shopping took as several hours alone and then she made me sit in front of her in the dorms for an hour while she did my hair and makeup. I told her nothing to dramatic and looking in the mirror I see she did exactly that. My eyes have been lined with a dark brown pencil and eyelashes accentuated with mascara. There is a little bit of white shimmer along my eyebrow line and inner eyelid to make my eyes pop and seem more awake. She has then shaded outwards in a shadow effect in natural brown tones. There's a small bit of bronzer a shade darker than my skin on my cheek bones to highlight them and my lipstick a shade I would best describe as toffee coloured. As for my hair it's down and simple, with a few curls framing my face. I approve. I'd even say I look pretty good. While Christina does her hair and makeup I put on my new outfit, grabbing a leather jacket for safe measure, put on my new pumps and practise walking up and down the dorm in them. They're horrible.

Mid-afternoon means that most people are out of the dorm doing their own things but Marlene and Lynn come in to get ready too when there is an hour until Zeke's. Will, Al and Uriah on the other hand come in with fifteen minutes to go, change their shirts and then wait for us girls. I think both Lynn and I were a bit jealous at how much easier they got it.

Christina is the last to be ready and with that we leave together for Zeke's. Uriah leads the way chatting merrily about their boy's afternoon, although I'm more focused on my feet.

I can hear music as we approach Zeke's apartment, the party already in full swing. We enter and although we are a bit early I see Shauna, Lauren and Four here already. We seem to be the only initiates invited.

"It's my favourite initiates," Zeke greets us, seeming to come out of nowhere. "Welcome! There is some pizza, chips and other snacks down the back on the counter as well as some drinks you can help yourself to. Make yourself at home and stick around because Candor or Dauntless will start shortly."

He's already off to greet some other guests before any of us have time to respond. "What's Candor or Dauntless?" I ask anyone.

"It's like truth or dare, you get picked to say a truth or do a dare and if you don't you have to remove an item of clothing," Marlene answers. "It's a favourite and really fun."

I am suddenly very glad I had the foresight to bring a jacket.

We stay mostly to ourselves, picking at the food since we haven't had dinner and I try a bubbly drink called apple cider. It's okay. Half way through my cup I start feeling a bit funny in the head and slow down. I take the occasional glance towards Tobias across the room and see him doing the same every now and then but we keep to our own groups.

The music soon dies down and Zeke is calling for attention, "Okay everyone, the moment you've all been waiting for. Make yourself comfortable, it is time for Candor or Dauntless!"

Everyone arranges themselves in a haphazard circle, I sit with Christina on my left and Al on my right.

"My house I start," Zeke announces when everyone looks mostly ready. "Uriah, little bro, Candor or Dauntless?"

Uriah grins, "Dauntless".

"Make out with Marlene."

I look at Marlene and she looks rather pleased. Does she have a crush on Uriah? Uriah shrugs his shoulders and leans over to Marlene and kisses her for several seconds before pulling back with a smile, "Too easy, thanks Zeke! Tris, Dauntless or Candor?"

I really don't fancy being made to kiss someone so I say, "Candor."

"Pansycake! Alright, what is your full name?"

I don't even consider it, I shrug off my jacket.

"Aww what, what was an easy one!"

I poke my tongue at him, "Too bad. Lauren, Candor or Dauntless."

"Candor," she says.

I don't even have to think about it, "Who is your least favourite initiate?"

"Peter," she answers. "Lynn, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless."

"Let Shauna shave whatever pattern she likes into the side of your head."

"Done." She gets up as does Shauna and they go into Zeke's bathroom. A few minutes later they come back and she has what looks like a person's middle finger shaved into her already short hair.

"Not bad at all," she comments. "It may actually come in useful. Christina, C or D?"

We go around the room doing various things. Christina squeaks out that she likes Will, Al stands on his head for two minutes while reciting the Dauntless manifesto, Four admits his name is Tobias, Marlene goes out into the hall and empties a tub of marbles over the floor for people to trip over, Uriah has to say that he hates cake, Zeke sits with his pants around his ankles for several rounds and I even get left to balance on one foot in my high heels for five minutes. We go around and round slowly losing items of clothing, although Zeke and Uriah seem to be up for anything. I'm down to just my shirt and underwear when Tori, the woman I realise performed my aptitude test, targets me.

"Tris, Candor or Dauntless?"

Unable to face the idea of standing in those heels any longer I say, "Candor?"

"Why did you leave Abnegation?"

I freeze. I do not want to answer this. I also do not want to take my shirt off as that is the last item of clothing I have left before my underwear and I don't want anyone to see my scars.

"Come on Tris, don't be a pansycake," Uriah calls.

I gulp and I feel my breathing getting more erratic, "I don't want to do this," I say.

"Come on Tris, it's not that bad, just answer or take your top off. Most of ours are already off, it's fine, we are all friends here" Christina encourages.

I feel everyone looking at me and the pressure is too much. I shake my head and stand up. "I've got to go," I say, grabbing my stuff. I pull on my pants while I hear the others say thing like "No Tris," or "Come on, Tris" but I ignore them and bolt out the room.

I don't know where I am headed but it's not the dorms, I don't want to see anyone. I run down the pathways, heels in hand, and find myself at the Chasm. I sit down at the edge, holding onto the railing, and look down at the roaring water below.

After a while I hear a voice behind me, "I thought I'd find you here."

I turn my head around and see Tobias approaching me. I look back to the chasm and say, "how?"

He stands next to me now, "I like to come here myself when I need to think. I guess it reminds me of our park in some ways." He stretches a hand down to me, "Come on, I'll show you something."

I take his hand and allow him to pull me to my feet. Standing, he wipes at the tears that have been rolling down my face. He kisses me on the forehead, "this way."

He leads me to the side of the railing and down a narrow path that is almost hidden from view. We head further down into the chasm until we reach a platform. The water is louder here and looking up I realise we are almost invisible. We are as good as alone and in complete privacy.

"How did you find this spot?" I ask.

He smiles, "I've always like to explore my surroundings."

We sit with our backs to the wall and it takes me a long time to notice that we are still holding hands. I rest my head on his shoulder and he doesn't seem to mind. We sit there for however long before Tobias breaks our comfortable silence, "Are you alright?"

I don't know how to answer. Right now? Yes. Will I be in the long run? I hope so. Overall? Probably not. "I don't know if the answer is that easy, Toby."

He doesn't respond to that, he's always been good in giving me my space. He rubs circles with his thumb over the back of my hand. I close my eyes feeling Toby and the sounds of the chasm and I let calmness wash over me.

I open my eyes and see he is looking at me. "I'm sorry," I say, suddenly feeling guilty.

"What for?"

"You've always been so patient and considerate and I just take advantage of it and give you nothing in return. Again you are here watching out for me and yet I can't give you any explanation for my behaviour."

"Tris," he says, tilting my head to look at him. "I've been here since you were eight years old, and I'll stay for as long as you will let me. Whatever plague's you I do wish you will let me share the burden one day so that I can support you but I will never force you to until you're ready. Just as long as you know you can come to me whenever you need, as always, even if you can't tell me everything."

He brings his mouth to mine and kisses me softly, after the shock quickly wears off I return it, a hand slipping behind his neck. We could have been kissing for a few seconds or a few hours, time seems to stop until I have to pull away for air.

"Thank you," I say.

He grins, "I'd have done that a lot sooner had I known you'd thank me for it!"

I swat his arm, "I meant for what you said before, silly."

"I know," he says smiling even wider. I start to smile too before being interrupted by a yawn. "Come on, I think it's time for bed."

We stand up and he seems to sense my apprehension about leaving. "Would you like to stay with me tonight?"

"Can I?" I ask. "If it is not too much, I don't think I'm ready to go back to the dorms and face the others questions."

He holds my hand again while we walk back to the top of the chasm and to his dorm. It's quiet on the walk, it must be really late. He lets me enter first and switches on the light heading straight to his room. He comes back out a moment later with a shirt. "Here, you can change into this, I'm sure it's large enough and much comfier than those jeans."

"Thank you," I say, taking the shirt to the bathroom. I take off my jeans and top and slip into the large shirt. He's right about it being large enough, it comes to my knees. I find Tobias waiting for me in the little kitchen area drinking a glass of water and he hands me one.

"I forgot to tell you but you looked beautiful earlier today in that outfit. But this, you are beyond words." He leans down and kisses me again, and it's just as exciting before. "Come on, off to bed."

I head to his bedroom and pull back the sheets and jump in. "Goodnight, Tris," he says from the doorway.

"Aren't you coming?" I ask.

"It's okay, Tris, I'll take the couch."

"What? I can't kick you out of your bed! I can sleep out there."

"No, please sleep there. I'll see you in the morning." He flicks off the light switch and before I can argue I find myself being pulled down into a deep sleep.

 **That was a longer one! Normally I find shorter chapters easier to right/ allows me to update more often but this took a bit longer to meet a nice chapter end. Hope you liked, your reviews mean a lot!**


	9. Chapter 9

**TOBIAS POV**

I am riddled, completely riddled. As I settle to sleep on the couch I think of the events that transpired tonight. I know strip games oppose everything Abnegation and I too was apprehensive the first time I played but her breakdown I struggle to understand, especially as it's not the first one she's had this week.

There were other people in less than Tris was, she would not have been the first to be down to completely underwear. She answered most truths and completed most dares, the only ones she refused relating to her past in Abnegation or getting 'I love Zeke' tattooed on her shoulder… I'd take an item of clothing off if I'd been dared that too.

What was probably more surprising for me than Tris' departure though was Al's abrupt outburst after she left the room. He had stood up and yelled at Uriah and Christina for trying to bully her into something she didn't want to do. I'd been keeping an eye on Uriah but perhaps I need to keep one on him too, Tris has a bit of a fan club growing.

Christina and Uriah both left after that to look for Tris, both feeling guilty. Second time for Uriah this week he's had Tris walk out on him. It pretty much ended the party so I was able to leave without raising any questions and found her at the chasm minutes later. I assume they tried searching the dorms first.

I definitely have feelings for this girl. I just wish I knew what was wrong so I could help her, but she doesn't owe me any explanations, I just have to hope she eventually will.

It takes me awhile to get comfortable couch but I can't get my mind to relax, I can't stop thinking about her. After who know how long I decide to get up and walk around the room. I go into my little kitchenette area and get a glass of water from the tap. I'm leaning against the benchtop when I notice a lot of movement through the slightly ajar door of the bedroom. I watch for a moment but when it doesn't stop I put my glass down and look into my bedroom.

Tris is fighting with the bed sheets, her eyes still shut, and I realise she is having a nightmare. I approach the bed carefully, calling her name hoping she will hear and wake up. When she doesn't I put a hand on her shoulder and she gasps, her eyes snapping open and coming up to seating.

"Shhh, shh Tris it's okay, it's okay, I'm here, you were just having a nightmare," I say, sitting on the bed making sure not to touch and startle her further. Her eyes are wild and her breathing erratic but I see her start to instantly calm when she sees me and realises she was just dreaming.

"Would you be able to get me some water," Tris asks.

I get up without word and fetch a glass from the kitchen. I'm back in seconds and pass the glass to Tris, who is sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed. She takes a few mouthfuls, finishing half, and sets what's left on the bedside table. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Tris."

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, I don't mean to be such a mess."

"You aren't a mess, you are beautiful. And don't worry about that, I was actually already up getting a drink when I noticed you wrestling the bed and thought I'd check on you. But even if I had been a sleep I wouldn't have minded," As I say it I realise just how true it is, I would dote on this girl any day or night, not matter the situation. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head, "Not right now. Do you mind if you just hold me? I wouldn't normally ask but it always used to relax me when we used to meet at the park."

"Of course, Tris, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

We settle under the bed covers after I turn the light off. I leave the light on in the main room with the door open slightly so that there is a trickle of light so that she doesn't get confused if she wakes up in the dark in different surroundings. I pull her back to me so that I am spooning her, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Do you have nightmares often?" I ask.

"Sometimes," she says. "That was the first one since I arrived here. I think I've been too tired after training the other nights to dream. I'll just have to keep exhausting my brain so that I don't get caught out in the dorms."

"Everyone gets nightmares, Tris, especially initiates. It's a stressful time where you change and grow into yourself. You won't be the first or last initiate to have nightmares in those dorms, I'm sure some of them have already and you just haven't noticed."

"I've heard a few of the transfers crying themselves to sleep," Tris comments.

"See? You don't give yourself enough credit."

I focus on the sound of her breathing, the feel of her heart beat against my skin, the scent of her hair, fragranced by shampoo but with something else underlying that is uniquely her.

"I'm scared to sleep, Toby," Tris whispers.

"Why?"

"I don't want to see them in my dreams again."

"Who's them?"

"My mother, Marcus."

"I'll protect you."

"How can you do that?"

"I'll fight your dreams off with my bare hands."

I feel her body shake as she laughs quietly, "Thank you Tobias."

"What for?"

"For not thinking I'm crazy, for looking out for me, for holding me, for just being who you are."

I lean up enough so that I can kiss her cheek, "goodnight Trissy."

"Night Toby."

I wait until I hear her breathing even out before I check and see her eyes closed. I know her mothers death was hard on her though I hasn't expected it to plague her dreams still. And what about Marcus? As in Marcus her father? I'm curious but I know getting her to say that much was a milestone of sorts. I can wait. I push the thoughts away and knowing that she's asleep I snuggle impossibly closer into her side and allow myself to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

 **I'm not too happy with how this chapter worked out but I really wanted to do something in Tobias' POV. The events I wanted to happen occurred but I just don't think it was written that well. Ah well, next chapter up soon**


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